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The Bible always teaches one not to be envious of what others have.� Though I have been studying the Bible for years, I kept repeating the mistake.� When I saw JazzL.apos;s photos in FaceBk, I canapos;t help but to envy her.� She is lucky enough to have a very considerate and unbias Superior, TimT.� Like anyone else, she too, made mistakes and offended VIPs along the way, but her Sup will speak up for her.� When she is stressed out at work, her Sup will give her words of encouragement, pick her up and drive her through the difficult times.� Her hard work�was paid off�with a free business trip to Japan by Sharp and quarterly bonuses.�

Should l be envying her because she is in sales, and she is able to excel in it? I wouldnapos;t say so.� I envy her because she found a job that matches her personality and gives�the opportunity to display her ability.� On top of that, she has a good Sup to groom her, giving her room to develop.

The few of us, Ronald, Keng Hong, Charissa and myself.� Each of us treads a different path.� Ronald couldnapos;t seem to�find his true love and�happiness after searching�for so�many years, travelled and stayed in�different countries.� He�never seems to stay long enough in a job to�firmly establish his ground.��If confronted, he would defend�that he�reserves all�his rights to direct his life and career.� He choose to see only what�a company can offer him, and not what he can offer the company.� He feels that his talent is not being appreciated by�the company.� And that it is because of mismanagement that his knowledge is not being fully capitalised.��The problem always lies with the other party, not him.� At the age of 28, he is still hopping around, finding the perfect lover, perfect job and perfect life.

When�comes to management science,�no one can be compared to�Keng Hong.��Unlike Ronald, KH�complaints with solutions.��But often, his solutions are too profound for the�autocratic�management, like ER, to accept, much less, to implement.� He has the drive to make things work, but lack of full management and colleaguesapos; support.� When that happened, he lost his�fighting spirit.��Similar to Ronald, he�too feels that his knowledge and capabilities are not�well appreciated by the company.��Coincidentally, mismanagement has�dragged him down too.� After working at his new employment�for less than half a year, he�harbored the thought of finding a much better job.�

Charissa does not have an ambition as great as R and KH.� She is contended to go with the flow.��She is still surviving at�ER, India.��She might not�be able to see that much politics,�or garner deep insight about the management, but she has�the endurance and determination to go through different stages of an employment.��

What about me? I am a mixture of the three.� I am very much emotionally attached to a job like R.� I rationalize things and want to achieve�more like�KH.� On the other hand, I�am still figuring out where�does my�area of expertise lie like Charissa.�

In comparison, Jazz is�the most blessed among us�all.� She has found a true love, established a family (expecting with twins),�knows her expertise, appreciated by�Bosses and secured a well paid job.��

I ask myself, why should l feel unhappy? Why should l be comparing with others all the time? �Why�should l look down on myself, keep thinking that others can outdo and replace me.� why do�I feel so insecure? What more do l want? What do l really want so as to be happy?� I thought the Bible can set me free and lead�me to happiness.� But I just cannot live the life that the Bible instructs.� I failed miserably.� I dont even dare to think about�announcing my wedding to the elders.� I dont want to think about the consequences or disciplinary procedures that I would have to�go through to remain as a member.��

I have been working in China Enersave for 6 months now.� I though this job would�last me longer than ER, and brings me more work satisfaction and accomplishment.� However, the Boss hinted twice to me that I�havenapos;t been following up with�operational issues as�good as other colleagues.� Though he didnapos;t sound harsh, I could read between the lines.� I�refute his saying of not following up with issues.� Firstly,�at times, he�does not give clear instruction of who to follow up with what.� Take�for an example,�he�told Lynd and me to look into changing of the server vendor.� I did help to check out on Googles and passed the information to Lynd.� Lynd is the Admin Manager, and she is in charge of the computers and servers of the company too.� Therefore, she should be doing the following up and sourcing of another vendor.� It is not in my job scope.�� For other subsidiaries, I�have little knowledge of the nature of business and�is seldom at the general office.� The remaining managers are half dead.� They did feedback the problems to the head, but�are often ignored or pushed�to other Directors to solve.� Now, I have�been following up closely�on the operation by asking the in charge to give me frequent updates.�Our China plants are taken care of by the GM and Directors, who reports directly to the head.� Most�of the time, I dont get much update from them,�because they dont Cc me in�the mail.� Hence, there is nothing much for me to follow up.��Those that I should follow up, e.g. Designing of new web site, company function, Annual Report and Investment query�etc. Have been promptly�done.��

I am worried. I dont know what the boss expects from me.� I dont know how long can l survive here.� �

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